Mel Mark on Evaluation Pie as Sung at Evaluation 2011

The following is shared on behalf of Mel Mark, AEA’s intrepid 2006 President, Professor at Penn State, and infamous evaluation lyricist. The song below was sung at the closing session of AEA’s annual conference this past week in Anaheim.

Rad Resource:  Evaluation Pie to be sung to the tune of American Pie by Don McLean

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
Group assignment used to make me smile.
And I knew that with point oh-5 chance
That I could find sig- nif- i- cance
And, maybe, better programs for a while.

But all the non-use made me shiver
With every report I’d deliver.
Bad news in the summary;
My critics said, he’s a duh-uh-my.

I can’t remember if I cried
When I saw the data didn’t jibe,
But something touched me deep inside
The day my re-port died.

So bye-bye, e- val- u- a- tion pie.
Drove MANOVA to the levee,
But MANOVA was dry.
And the small r squared was shrinkin’ hither and nye
Singin’, “this’ll be the day that stats lie.
“this’ll be the day that stats lie.”

Did you write pro-gram the-ry,
And do you have faith in the questions key,
If the client tells you so?
Now do you believe in the stan-dards,
Can qual types mix with the quant nerds,
And can you teach me how to read Po-Mo?

Well, I know that you’re not theory-driven
`cause I saw you dancin’ with Mike Scriven.
Well, you both got sum- a- tive.
Man, I dig the way that you live.
I was a lonely outside con-tract-er
With a client problem that I couldn’t cure,
And I knew I was so unsure
The day my re-port died.

I started singing
Bye-bye, e- val-u- a- tion pie.
Focused my group on the levee,
But fo-cus went awry.
With sug-gestions the program funds couldn’t buy
Singin’, “this’ll be the day my plans die.
“this’ll be the day my plans die.”

Now for many years we’ve had our AEA
Presidential Strand, it was the place to be,
As 3 comments helped us see.  
When the jester sang in the last plen-ry,
With a tune he borrowed from Mc-Clean
And a joke well it came from you and me.

And while Jennifer was looking on,
The jester made the people yawn.
The session was adjourned;
The encore it was spurned.
As Fetterman read a book by me,
Stragglers drank in the lobby,
And I wished that the drinks were free
The day my re-port died.

I started singing
Bye-bye, e- val-u- a- tion pie.
Focused my group on the levee,
But fo-cus went awry.
With sug-gestions the program funds couldn’t buy
Singin’, “this’ll be the day my plans die.
“this’ll be my plans die.”

I met a man who had a book,
And he held it with a happy look.
And then he tried to sell some more.
I logged on to the eval store,
Where I bought some textbooks years before.
But the website said the man’s book didn’t sell.

On Eval-talk the flamers screamed,
Consultants cried, and the theorists dreamed.
But not a program flourished,
Though bottom lines were nourished.
And the three Mikes I admire the most,
The checklist, use, and the Friar’s Roast
They could not save me, that’s no boast,
The day my re-port died.

I started singing
Bye-bye, e- val-u- a- tion pie.
Drove MANOVA to the levee,
But MANOVA was dry.
And the small r squared was shrinkin’ hither and nye
Singin’, “this’ll be the day that stats lie.
“this’ll be the day that stats lie.”

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